January 19, 2007
Friday 

I was so not going to do this, ever again. I was done with Weight Watchers, at least formally. I know it all. It’s not that complicated — eat less, move more, choose fresh over processed, drink lots of water. I like Weight Watchers’ materials, but I have a lot of them. How many recipes for baked chicken do you need, anyway? I read Erin’s spirited statement on why she quit Weight Watchers, and I agreed. I know how boring and counterproductive the meetings can be, how the staff and other members can sometimes say insensitive things, how the whole process can make you think your self-worth is tied to how many individual pieces of spoon size shredded wheat you ate this morning.

But something having more to do with my psychology than my intellectual assessment of the situation sent me across town this afternoon to the Weight Watchers center beside the All You Can Eat Chinese buffet place to sign up for the spiffy new materials. They changed the shape of the books but not much else. It’s still eat less, move more, choose fresh over processed, and drink lots of water.

I’m in the same place physically that I was in February of 2005. I felt fat and defeated then, but I took a deep breath, told myself I could change, and managed to get well enough to go to Wyoming by myself four months later. I am in a better place psychologically than I was then.

We’ll see.