The Silken Tent

The Soul Ajar — A Journal for 2005
Beginning with Holidailies 2004

 The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience. — Emily Dickinson



 





Holidailies 2004

December Word Count: 5752

December 11, 2004
Saturday

Every year my church sponsors an Angel Giving Tree. A committee gathers suggestions from social service agencies, the pastor, school guidance counselors, and members of the congregation about people whose present circumstances, be they chronic or temporary, might make for a subdued if not downright grim holiday season. They put a wooden tree in the narthex and hang it with angel ornaments, each bearing a gift suggestion — 1.25 power reading glasses, certificate for cut and style at Hair Express, girls' socks in assorted colors. You choose one or more, procure the item, and deliver it to church on Gaudete Sunday, the third Sunday of Advent.

When Lynn was little and everything was an object lesson in The True Meaning of Christmas, we always chose something for a child her age as well as adults like me and Ron. We shopped together for the gifts, wrapped them, and placed them on the table, and remembered the unnamed recipients in our family prayers. Over the years we've bought Harry Potter books, blank journals, Dallas Cowboys sweatshirts, boxed chocolates, and (in years when we were really pressed for time) the occasional generic gift certificate at the Colonial Park Shopping Center.

Because Lynn is away this year, I was left to carry on this tradition alone. I chose to get a "twin sheet set for an adult woman" and, because I miss my tiny baby so much, "soft blocks and stacking/nesting cups for a 16-month-old."

The sheet set was easy. I took a 20% off coupon to Bed, Bath & Beyond and got a very nice 400-count Egyptian cotton blend set in a soft ivory for $25. Then it was off to Toys-R-Us for the baby toys.

To tell you the truth, I had planned to go to a toney specialty store, perhaps one in our new collection of "lifestyle shops" on the hill above Lynn's high school. (A "lifestyle shop" is a store that sells stuff no one actually needs. Susquehanna Township's new shopping destination has two jewelers, an upscale baby outfitter where the cribs cost $2500, a Talbott's, a J. Jill, a Coldwater Creek, an Anne Klein Loft, two men's clothiers, a Williams-Sonoma, and a Starbuck's.) But I ran out of time, and since there was a Toys-R-Us in the same shopping plaza, I walked over there.

I haven't been to Toys-R-Us in about ten years, since things for Lynn were better found at Circuit City or a good book store. I thought going in there again would be nostalgic. It wasn't.

Everything in the infant and toddler section is labeled (usually in more than one language) a "learning toy." They all do something. They beep or they buzz or they flash colored lights. There are devices for warming the baby wipes and more kinds of feeding implements than there are foods to give the child. There are things to lock other things up (like the lid of the toilet) and alarms to tell you if the lock has been defeated.

I did find a set of soft blocks that didn't need batteries. But I never did find a set of nesting cups. (Lynn had one that she loved. I think we still have them.) So I bought a set of food storage containers in graduated sizes, with snap lids. They're intended for use by adults to transport the child's snacks (those containers of Cheerios and Goldfish crackers and raisins that you use to buy children's cooperation), but it was the best I could do.

I took the things to church this morning, along with a hideous Santa-shaped ceramic cookie jar that was foisted upon me as a "free gift" for buying over a certain dollar amount at a cosmetics counter. If I'd known I was getting that I wouldn't have bought the second item. I slipped it under the table when no one was looking, hoping that the committee members would be able to find a recipient for it. But I felt bad. Even poor people shouldn't have to own something that ugly.

*****

You'll notice above a new feature, the December Word Count. Back in late October I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), an idea hatched a few years ago by writer Chris Baty to challenge people to write a 50,000 word novel in just the thirty days of November. The emphasis is on quantity, not quality. I had no intention of writing a coherent story, but I thought I might use the community aspects of the challenge to do some kind of character sketch or scene outline every day, as way to get back into fiction writing.

It didn't work out that way. I enjoyed some of the message boards, contributing information about such diverse topics as how a gravestone is set in the ground and life among nineteenth-century Anabaptist sects. But I only wrote about 1500 words of fiction. Writing fiction requires me to disengage almost entirely from the real world, and I just couldn't manage it.

Holidailies has been much better for me. It's gotten me writing again, gotten me interested in being an active member of the online journal community again, and introduced me to some new journals. My piece about being inspired to give a holiday tip to my paper carrier was recognized as a "Best of Holidailies," something that I consider an honor. (And I thank those responsible.)




 (Previous -- Next)
Table of Contents for The Soul Ajar
 

(Previous volumes of this journal can be accessed from the directories below.)
Dwelling in Possibility 2004
The Gestures of Trees 2003

  My Letter to the World 2002
  My Letter to the World 2001
  My Letter to the World 2000
My Letter to the World 1999

Back to the Index Page

This journal updates irregularly.
To learn when new pieces are added, join the Notify List.

  The contents of this page are © 2004 by
Margaret DeAngelis.

Love it? Hate it? Just want to say hi? Click on my name above.